


Devoured by Dinosaur

by Sangerin



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Bureaucracy, Challenge Response, Crack, Gen, Generally unsuccessful, Immigration & Emigration, Social Commentary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-25
Updated: 2013-06-25
Packaged: 2017-12-16 03:31:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/857275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sangerin/pseuds/Sangerin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kashyk arrives in Federation Space, and encounters the vagaries of immigration bureaucracy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Devoured by Dinosaur

**Author's Note:**

> This came from a challenge linked to the fact that Mark Harelik (Kashyk) has a small part in Jurassic Park III.
> 
> It is an attempt (attempt, mind you) at humour and political satire.

_This is the Federation Immigration and Naturalisation Service. Please dock at port three and prepare for boarding by FINS officials._

Kashyk sighed as he disengaged the autopilot and manoeuvred the small shuttle into the docking port. Immigration clearance. Kashyk understood the need for Immigration regulations. How else could you keep telepaths out of the Imperium, he reasoned. But at this point in time, the Immigration process was just one more thing that stood between him and Earth.

Kashyk heard the thump of the airlock against the shuttle wall, and he spun himself around in his seat to watch the ship door open.

‘Agent Ruddock of the FINS requesting permission to board.’

‘Granted,’ replied Kashyk, knowing he didn’t really have a choice.

The official was human, with white hair and dull grey eyes, and from Kashyk’s brief experience with humans, Kashyk thought that the official was probably reaching the end of his career. On the man’s sleeve was a device that appeared familiar to Kashyk. Like the one worn by Voyager’s doctor.

‘Excuse me, Agent Ruddock - are you a hologram?’

The hologram nodded and continued to examine the shuttle’s manifest.

Kashyk was surprised that a service hologram for the FINS had been deliberately designed to look old, but then, this was the Federation. They were, as he knew, a strange people.

Kashyk couldn’t have known that the FINS had only just begun to use holograms. Nor could he have known that a member of the design team was something of a history buff. As a result, the five different types of inspection official were all modeled on Immigration officials from various time periods. The one currently downloading the ship’s records and handing Kashyk padds to complete was known in the FINS as the ‘dinosaur’ - it was a re-creation of a man from the 21st century, and its program had needed significant alteration to overcome the barbaric attitudes that appeared to be indistinguishable from the personality profile.

The "dinosaur" shuffled the pile of padds in his arms, and then nodded pleasantly at Kashyk.

‘I only have a few more questions to ask you…your name is Kashyk?’

‘Correct.’

‘No first name?’

‘No.’

‘And your species?’

‘Devore,’ replied Kashyk.

The hologram looked up, nodded, and rearranged the padds. ‘Thank you very much, sir,’ he said. ‘You will receive clearance to leave and your Immigration records within the next few minutes. He walked out of the shuttle, and the door slid shut behind him.

Four minutes later, Kashyk received clearance to continue towards Earth and Indiana. At some point during the long flight, he pulled up the immigration records. With one look, he groaned.

He was no longer a Devore - he was now a Devour. Kashyk knew how implacable immigration records were. They could just as well have been written in stone. For as long as he remained in the Federation, he would be a Devour.

**Author's Note:**

> The Immigration official is based on Philip Ruddock, who at the time this fic was written (2001) was the Australian Minister for Immigration, despised by the author.


End file.
